D-Day

HOW THE D-DAY INVASION WOULD BE REPORTED BY TODAY'S PRESS

NORMANDY, FRANCE (June 6, 1944) Three hundred French civilians were killed
and thousands more were wounded today in the first hours of America's
invasion of continental Europe. Casualties were heaviest among women and
children. Most of the French casualties were the result of artillery fire
from American ships attempting to knock out German fortifications prior to
the landing of hundreds of thousands of U.S. troops. Reports from a
makeshift hospital in the French town of St. Mere Eglise said the carnage
was far worse than the French had anticipated, and that reaction against
the American invasion was running high. "We are dying for no reason, "said
a Frenchman speaking on condition of anonymity. "Americans can't even
shoot straight. I never thought I'd say this, but life was better under
Adolph Hitler."
The invasion also caused severe environmental damage. American troops,
tanks, trucks and machinery destroyed miles of pristine shoreline and
thousands of acres of ecologically sensitive wetlands. It was believed
that the habitat of the spineless French crab was completely wiped out,
thus threatening the species with extinction. A representative of
Greenpeace said his organization, which had tried to stall the invasion
for over a year, was appalled at the destruction, but not surprised. "This
is just another example of how the military destroys the environment
without a second thought," said Christine Moanmore. "And it's all about
corporate greed."
Contacted at his Manhattan condo, a member of the French
government-in-exile who abandoned Paris when Hitler invaded, said the
invasion was based solely on American financial interests. "Everyone knows
that President Roosevelt has ties to 'big beer'," said Pierre LeWimp.
"Once the German beer industry is conquered, Roosevelt's beer cronies will
control the world market and make a fortune."
Administration supporters said America's aggressive actions were based in
part on the assertions of controversial scientist Albert Einstein, who
sent a letter to Roosevelt speculating that the Germans were developing a
secret weapon -- a so-called "atomic bomb". Such a weapon could produce
casualties on a scale never seen before, and cause environmental damage
that could last for thousands of years. Hitler has denied having such a
weapon and international inspectors were unable to locate such weapons
even after spending two long weekends in Germany. Shortly after the
invasion began, reports surfaced that German prisoners had been abused by
American soldiers. Mistreatment of Jews by Germans at their so-called
"concentration camps" has been rumored, but so far this remains unproven.

Several thousand Americans died during the first hours of the invasion,
and French officials are concerned that the uncollected corpses will pose
a public-health risk. "The Americans should have planned for this in
advance," they said. "It's their mess, and we don't intend to help clean
it up."

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