Mike Shannon-isms

(As printed in the Gibson County IL's 'Princeton Daily Clarion' on 11-16-06!)

I pass along the following in honor of the newly-crowned World Series Champion St. Louis Cardinals Baseball Team. My younger and better-looking sister (maybe that will get me a great Christmas present this year!) is an avid Cards' fan and sent these gems over the internet. They are a collection of on-air expressions from long-time Cardinal broadcaster, and former player, Mike Shannon.

“This big standing-room-only crowd is settling into their seats.”

“It's raining like a Chinese fire drill!”

After Brian Jordan was hit by a pitch for the fourth time on a single road trip: “Jordan must feel like a Ouija board.”

“He's faster than a chicken being chased by Ronald McDonald!”

“Well, folks, this game began as a tiny worm and is blossoming into one large cobra.”

“That foul tip bounced up and caught him right in the groins - and that'll really clear your eyes out.”

 

“A hit up the middle right now would be like a nice ham sandwich and a cold, frosty one.”

Broadcasting from New York under a full moon: “I wish you folks back in St. Louis could see this moon.”

On the day before Easter: “I just want to tell everyone 'Happy Easter' and 'Happy Hanukkah.”

“Things are not always as they appear to be as.”

“Well, he did everything right to get ready for the throw, but if ya' ain't got the hose, the water just won't come out.”

Referring to a home run by Ted Simmons: “And that's the bread on Simmons' butter.”

“I've heard it said that if you know English, Spanish, Italian and, I think it's French, you can go just about anywhere in this world. . .except China where they have all those derelicts.” After a pause, Joe Buck suggested that Mike had meant to say 'dialects.' Mike responded, “Yeah, dialects! That's what I mean. . .but they've got a lot of derelicts too!”

“He ran to second faster than a cat in Chinatown.”

“I wouldn't have seen it if I hadn't believed it.”

“Don't bite off your head to spite your nose.”

Joe Buck: “Mike, the Cardinals would like to welcome a group of 19 French foreign exchange students in Section 382.” Mike: “Where're they from, Joe?” Joe: “Uhh, France, I think.”

“The wind switched 360 degrees.”

It's raining so hard I thought it was going to stop.”

Mike's classic: “Ol' Abner Doubleday has done it again.”

“Back in the day when I played, a pitcher had three pitches: a fastball, a curveball, a slider, a changeup and a good sinker pitch.”

“Boy, a cold, frosty Budweiser would be great about now.”. . .(long pause). . .then an “Ahhhhhh.”